Once upon a time there was a lid named Pike. Pike, with his parents Walker and Pam, used to travel the world together hoping to discover the one thing that will brighten their lives forever. One day the family rolled across a big dark pipe. Against his parent's wishes Pike eagerly rolled inside hoping to find the something he had been looking for, but not being able to see, Pike fell down a long and fun slide until rolling out the other end into a big puddle on the side of a street. Amazingly, Pike was able to escape the grasp of the cold, deep, water. After having discovered his talent for swimming, Pike looked around. He somewhat recognized where he was because of a map he looked at before. Good thing Pike's occupation is a traveling instructor. Pike then set off looking for his family. He traveled for days looking high and low until, unexpectedly, Pike fell into a circular shaped hole. At first, Pike struggled with all of his might. Then he realized that this was the thing he was looking for, a perfect place to fit in. And there Pike still sits, happily waiting for his parents to find him.
I like how the premise of this story is the protagonist getting stuck in a hole. Despite my curiosity as to how his parents would help him if they ever found him, I'd say "his talent for swimming" isn't too far-fetched, since he sits above sewers.
ReplyDeleteI really like this because of all the creativity but you didn't really talk about your hidden talent.
ReplyDeleteI liked it how your story started and ended good and had a good short plot. You didn't make the story to long and got all the requirements in. That was very interesting how you made it so the lid could swim, you made his talent one that no other can do.
ReplyDeleteI like the story because you write the story with Pikes parents. He lost them and then he want to find them. At the end he is waiting.
ReplyDeleteThat is a great idea.
Awesome face! Your story was short, but to the point. I like how he's a traveling instructor.... he can't move...
ReplyDeletereally liked reading this. short and to the point and the ending was good! interesting to read(:
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